I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
