i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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