great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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