he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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