Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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