what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
