Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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