K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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