i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
