Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I AM VODKA MAN
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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