Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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