Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you made out with another girl for some wings
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
