So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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