I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
