Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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