This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
