You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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