I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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