My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
