I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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