I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
