i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
