shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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