no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
