I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
