Need sex. Gaining weight.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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