after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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