I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
