If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
