I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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