do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
