whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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