i barfeds in our rink
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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