omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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