better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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