yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
