Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
