Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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