At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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