So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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