I cockslap morals
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
