Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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