i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
