Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
