She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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