Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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