lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
