I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
