At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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