so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize