If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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