dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
