Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
