i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
