So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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