Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
