So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
