jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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