I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
