Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
