i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
