So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What a dumb baby whore.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
