Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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